Long week but it is Friday so hope you enjoy!!

Ready for the weekend? You can tell that I'm writing this from a standpoint of looking over 140 homes the last 4 hours.

What amazes me is the ignorance and stupidity of so many in the profession, our the lack there of for the people that invest or buy a home that pays there bills.


So ready or not here it comes so you might as well begin it with a smile on your face.

Here to help is a quick guide to real estate lingo and sales-speak that would put even the best double-talking politician to shame.

Who knows, it might even help provide a different perspective on properties while you are out and about this weekend.

Low/No Maintenance Yard : The former owners paved over everything so there is no grass for the kids or pets. Forget buying a lawnmower and opt for a pressure washer instead. As a plus, parking is plentiful.

Quaint : So small only one person at a time can enter the kitchen and three is a full house.

Move-In Ready : We painted and called the carpet cleaner.

Seasonal Creek : Flash flooding alert!

Neighborhood Watch : The busy-body that lives next door knows everyone’s business and will call the police to report your dog the first time it gets out.

Country Living : Bring emergency rations since you are sure to get lost trying to find the property.

Cozy : Leave your king sized bed and overstuffed furniture behind.

Three Season Sunroom : Non permitted addition without insulation.

Near Transportation : Jets fly overhead, school bus stops in front yard and interstate is 20 feet away.

Nature Lovers Delight : Raccoons rip through the trash 3 times per week and your car insurance will go up after colliding with deer every year.

Energy Efficient : So small you can use a camp stove to heat the house.

Close to Everything : We didn’t sell when we should have so they built the mall around us.

Corner Lot : Constant traffic or the local neighborhood hang-out where kids of all ages congregate 24/7 and neighbors walk their dogs to do their ‘business’.

Meticulously Maintained : All original fixtures, appliances, cabinets and carpeting dating back at least 20 years or more.

Desirable Neighborhood : 20% premium based upon snob appeal.

Stunning Views : You will need a 4x4 to get up the driveway.

Lots of Storage Space : Unfinished attic or basement that is too small to do anything else with.

Completely Remodeled : Meaning you are buying our property, and the only one worth buying on the MLS!! See the link below!!

click the following URL to see listing



http://matrix.northstarmls.com/de.asp?K=538781XI7JN&p=DE-51938481-846



For an end buyer this house is brand new, nothing that needs to be done.



For an investor this is a house that will rent in a week and cashflow $500+ per month from the gate.



HMMM!!!



How is that for a comedic education wrapping up a Friday!!



See you at the top! "Bitches"



Sincerely,

Adam